'Leading a church is sacred work, but it often feels lonely and relentless'
 

After encountering many leaders who were paying a heavy price emotionally, relationally and spiritually, Simon and Ceri Harris have written a book to help them attend to their internal life, so they can lead from a place of wholeness. 

'The old model of the solo heroic leader who has all the answers is giving way to something more human and relational', says Simon in this interview about the book

Why did you write a book on leadership?

We’ve worked alongside leaders for 30 years in churches, charities and organisations both leading, coaching and consulting, and again and again we kept encountering leaders who were so often seen as successful in their leadership but internally they were paying a heavy price emotionally, relationally and spiritually.

For all the ‘success’ many live with disappointment, stress and a feeling that their personal relationships, including with themselves, are not where they want them to be.  As we describe in the book there is a “dis-ease of the heart.” The pressure to keep performing, to hold it all together, was quietly eroding their joy, sense of calling and connection with self.

We wrote for them; and for all who are stepping into leadership, that the patterns we are familiar with might not be blindly followed by subsequent generations.  

It didn’t start as a book, but curiosity. Curiosity that we were finding ourselves journeying with many leaders in a similar position and that they were finding our frames, tools and conversations helpful in rediscovering themselves. So the thought: what if we codify this?  

Firstly, for ourselves attempting to be good stewards of what God had placed in our hands, but secondly for others who we might never get to journey with us personally, but who could join the journey through the pages of the book.  

So we offer Wholehearted Leadership as a guide, a companion, a way of helping people learn to live and lead from a place of wholeness. 

 
You've worked with leaders around the world. What are some of the common issues you've seen?

Leadership is demanding. There are lots of tools to help with the external pressure, but we saw so frequently that it was the internal fragmentation that often became more toxic: the quiet expectation to be strong, to hold everything together, and lead from that strength, even when exhausted, would cause hurts to go unattended, resentments to grow unchecked and old traumas to bleed.

Over time a chasm grows between a polished outer world that is increasingly at odds with an inner turmoil.  Eventually this chasm can no longer be hidden, or requires increasing energy to keep it all tucked away. It’s not a failure of faith, it’s a signal that something deeper needs attention.  

Leaders have not been good at knowing how to tend that inner world.  To be fair, it’s rarely been part of their training or professional development.  

So we meet many leaders wrestling with doubts and feeling alone. Who can they tell? Who would understand? Our heroic-leader paradigm has kept so many trapped.

So the one common issue above all others (to return to the question) is leaders that look like they have it all together, and they are doing a great job, but under the surface they are broken.  Behind closed doors it’s a very different story.

 
What burdens do church leaders and ministers face—and how can they be overcome?

Church leaders carry a lot. Their role often blends spiritual, pastoral, administrative, and relational demands all rolled into one. There’s rarely enough time to stop, breathe, let alone space to reflect, wrestle, or lament about what is happening inside.

Leaders juggle many hats: preacher, pastor, planner, mentor all while carrying the hopes, hurts, and struggles of the people they serve. It’s sacred work, but it often feels lonely and relentless.

A vocation without the time restraints and protections of other jobs, burdened with as many expectations as there are people in the pews, and where conversations about perceived failures too often become common currency, can carry a huge emotional weight.. No wonder leaders lose sight of their own soul along the way.

This is where the “wholehearted” life becomes vital. Rather than offering more strategies or productivity tools, Wholehearted Leadership invites leaders into a way of being. One that begins with noticing what’s hidden: shame, assumptions, regrets and bringing it all into the healing light of Christ.

When leaders learn to name these things before God and live in alignment with their calling and character, the pressure lifts, joy returns, and grace flows more freely for themselves and others. 

 
Do you think general attitudes about what it means to be a leader have changed over the past 30 years?

Yes. Trust in leadership is at an all time low. Titles and institutions have lost their respect, so often for good reason. There is a demand for a different leader, arguably an altogether more healthy one. 

The old model of the solo heroic leader who has all the answers is giving way to something more human and relational. We’re seeing a shift toward authenticity, emotional intelligence, and shared leadership.

But the change isn’t just about style, it’s about substance. People are asking: 

• “Who is this leader becoming?” 
• “Are they trustworthy?” 
• “Do they listen?”
• “Do they lead from integrity or image?

In other words: Do they lead from their whole  heart?

That’s why the inner life matters. Leadership is not about outcomes. It’s about presence, posture, and how we show up.

 
What are your hopes for the book?

Our hope, and prayer, is that this book would find the leaders who are ready to journey within. That it would give them permission to pause, to create space, and to learn how to love themselves. That is what Jesus commanded, right?  

We would love it to be an invitation from Jesus for leaders who are hurting, and coming to the end of themselves, to come away with Him and find rest. Rest for themselves, their future leadership and their lives.

Finally, we would love it to continue to catalyse the conversation about a new way to lead, from our wholeheart, that would inspire future leaders to live richer, go deeper and lead further than we ever have.  

Ceri and Simon are part of the leadership of Burlington Church, a Baptist church in Ipswich where Simon is the Senior Minister. For more information on Wholehearted Leadership, visit their website Wholehearted Solutions 

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